just tired & sad & lonely I had me a good cry & a nap. I am thankful I have a roof over my head, food in my cabinets, a job that pays my bills, friends that give a damn and parents who love me no matter what. I am thankful that 2 little fur babies love me unconditionally, that small children think I am great, that I can sit in my backyard & listen to life around me, wind chimes, playing puppies, cars going by, the smell of BBQ and summer evening wafting into my piece of tranquility of only for a moment.

the bratt

Reading back over blogs IU had writtend just after the D-bomb, so sad and broken. Almost exactly 3 months later and I am pregnant and living alone paying my own bills and lonely as hell. I am currently suffering through a double fuck me ouch of a yeast infection and a bladder infection. I can take AZO so at least the bladder infections symptoms are gone but the burning raw itch of my cooch is driving me fucking nuts! I didn't sleep well the night before last so last night I took a whole Benadryl and only had to get up 3 times to pee (thank you bay-buh) but Vanessa woke me up this morning at 5:00 when she dropped of her kids (she brings them in and puts them back to bed) so I had awful nightmares all morning long about my arch nemesis a horrible BRAT named Becca and if I didn't need the money I wouldn't be watching. I have watched her since she is 8months old and she is awful, I hate to say it I know I sound awful when I do but she is a brat she cries all the time especially when she doesn't get her way, to the point she pisses herself & pukes, she is 4 years old. she is manipulative & lies and disrespectful {sigh} and incredibly sweet one on one but in a large group like mine she is the biggest fun sucker, she drained my emotional energy daily. Ok, well there is some soul-ugly for ya!. I was just so struck by my dreams of her, same thing telling her over and over again NO and having her not listen and ask again and again.